


this is how the world ends

by emiliers



Category: Death Note
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Gen, Non-Linear Narrative, Spoilers, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-31
Updated: 2012-07-31
Packaged: 2017-11-11 02:54:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/473712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emiliers/pseuds/emiliers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The world is ending, and everyone is burning with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Matt

**Author's Note:**

> Or, conversely: In Which Everything I Submit to AO3 is Gen, And I Really Need to Write More Slash.
> 
> Anyway, this was originally written in July '09. I was still in my experimental phase then and, hence, all the parentheses. (And, the final chapter was written in Dec. of the same year, after I got out of that experimental phase. Hence, the sudden change in style--and time.)
> 
> The title might seem to be a nod towards T.S. Eliot, but I must confess that I hadn't even read _The Hollow Men_ at that point in time (and had no idea where that line came from), so any relation you may see is completely coincidental.
> 
> (P.S. I took a few artistic liberties with canon in the first chapter. It's very slight, but just a heads up.)

The sceeching of tires pound in his eardrums; the scent of rust and metal and blood consumes him.

He grimaces when he hears the bullets.

(this car is his _baby_ ; how _dare_ they damage her)

He makes a sudden decision and presses hard on the gas pedal. It takes him only a moment to reverse, pull out his own gun, and shoot. He doesn't know how long he spent trying to gun them down, but after the dust clears, he sees a few bodies litter the ground, dripping blood (not all of which are the ones that he meant to hit) and suddenly realizes that he has also been shot.

Matt ignores the red blooming on his shoulder and speeds off again.

(it's okay; it's just a flesh wound)

Even now, he has little to no doubt that he will get out of this situation alive.

(isn't he, after all, a genius? and geniuses never get killed in stupid gunfights, right?)

Besides, Mello had promised that it would be simple and easy. He had promised that even if Matt got caught, they wouldn't kill the redhead. They needed information, after all.

(and, Mello is never wrong about these things, is he?)

Sirens shriek. Gunshots ring.

And, he suddenly feels suffocated in his car, as if he is a mouse in a cage.

Trapped.

Matt's heart pounds; he is high on fear and adrenaline, and he almost convinces himself that Mello is definitely wrong this time, and he is going to die a brutal, violent death, riddled with bullets, left out to rot on the cold cold cold ground.

(but, no, of course not; Mello is always right about things and Matt has always been wrong; this time won't be any different)

He forcibly pushes the concerns to the back of his mind, like he always does, and just gives himself completely over to trust and friendship (even when an inner voice whispers that those things don't count for crap in the real world).

(he will get out of this alive)

And, Matt discovers that he truly believes in that.

(he will not die)

So, when he is surrounded by _them_ \--those ugly men in black suits--he is calm, without a hint of tension. Instead of the sounds of sirens and gunshots, he hears his own thoughts, repeating Mello's words.

( _I will not die; I will not be killed; they will not shoot me_ )

Quietly and without delay, he gets out out of the car, holds his hands up in surrender, and...

(they shoot him)

They don't even hesitate and gun him full with bullets like he's swiss cheese.

And, a million things race through Matt's mind at that infinitely short and infinitely long moment before the shots make contact with his skin.

( _crap, this'll totally mess up the car_ )

( _goddammit, I already wasted money buying those tickets back to Winchester_ )

( _I bet it's going to hurt, those bastards_ )

(well, jeez, this sucks)

The thoughts are meaningless, and Matt feels almost mildly surprised that most of them merely contain exasperation and annoyance. There is no anger or fear or hatred. It is a sort of strange _acceptance_ , and the redhead feels a mixture of relief and incredulity at that idea.

And, in the end, three words are replayed in Matt's mind, over and over again.

( _Mello is_ wrong)

Matt dies, exactly as he predicted, riddled with bullets and left to rot on the cold cold cold ground (but with an uncharacteristic sense of pride and satisfaction that almost makes up for that).


	2. Mello

The news doesn't surprise him as much as it should, and he feels no sorrow or regret.

(it is just how things turned out; no use crying over spilled milk)

All he can feel now is the continuous pumping of his heart and the heavy _thunks_ of the truck as he drives recklessly across the road. He cannot afford to think of anything else now. What he is doing now is important--something that could change the fate of the world, one would say.

(more important than mourning a best friend? without a doubt.)

At that thought, Mello feels a sudden burst of annoyance and anger, increasing his speed on impulse. The world blurs right beneath his eyes and everything meshes together until he cannot quite remember what he is angry or annoyed at. But, the rage is still there, pulsing beneath the surface, threatening to strangle him.

And, he thinks of Kira ( _Light Yagami_ ) and Takada and Near and Matt and even L and hates them all. Heck, that Misa Amane deserves his hatred too; surveillance on her had turned out to be absolutely _useless_ , a complete waste of time. 

(shit shit shit)

He suddenly comes to the realization that this plan will not work--that it had already fallen through the minute that the men in black had started shooting and Matt had died and Mello had seen the report and Takada had...

( _fuck_ )

The world reels under him and he can feel a choking, a suffocation, an inability to breathe, to even move.

He knows immediately what it means.

(that _bitch_ )

The truck lurches and veers off course, and he is incapable of stopping it. All he can do is watch as the entire world falls apart and is destroyed before his eyes. All he can see and feel with clarity is his loss--heavy with finality.

(god _fucking_ dammit!)

His only consolation as he dies is that Kira and Takada and every other damn being on this planet will probably go to Hell with him.

(Kira is only human, after all; he is no God; he will die someday)

Even if it is decades from now, he can wait. He can wait as long as needed.

And, his heart stops beating, and he hits the dashboard, and he cannot see, and he cannot hear, and he cannot feel. The darkness that consumes him is permanent and all encompassing, and it eases his frustration to think that even Kira will face this black void, no matter how distant that future might be.

( _I'll see you in Hell, Light Yagami._ )


	3. Near

It is a victory.

A complete but Pyrrhic victory.

The lives that had been sacrificed for Kira's defeat are no small number, and even Near knows and acknowledges it. So many had died, all because of a simple, little black notebook. It is almost laughable, really, if it isn't for the death count and the fact that even L and even Mello and even Matt died because of it.

( _earth to earth_ )

One of the first things Near does after he officially becomes L is to burn that black notebook to ashes.

( _ashes to ashes_ )

Now, in retrospect, it is quite ironic, really.

( _dust to dust_ )

There is no funeral. Near had not expected one.

But, there is a quiet burial.

(both coffins are empty)

It would've attracted too much attention to retrieve Matt, and Mello did not have a body left to bury.

Even so, Near finds himself treating the gravesites as if it truly contained their bodies, and he commissions specially-made tombstones--simple but elegant. He believes that at least Matt will appreciate the gesture.

And, he takes special care to ensure that there are two words rather than one engraved on their tombstones. They should not have to be _Matt_ and _Mello_ even in death. Those had not been their names--merely words to call them by.

Near feels a sudden, uncharacteristic urge and squats down, tracing the stony outline of the words--committing the cold yet warm feeling to memory.

( _Mail Jeevas_ )

( _Mihael Keehl_ )

And, silently, Near finds himself wishing (irrationally) that someone will do the same for him when he passes on.

Softly, "Farewell, Mail, Mihael."

This will be the first and last time he will whisper the words.


	4. Linda

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this chapter is written months after the others, so the style is different, and it's even set during a different time period.
> 
> This chapter takes place before all the others, and, in retrospect, this is a really strange way to end this story. While the previous chapter provides closure, this chapter, well, doesn't.
> 
> I suppose I wanted to convey that there _is_ no closure in life, that even when lives end and a war is being fought, the world still spins ever onward. I suppose I wanted to convey that "life goes on, no matter what," albeit with a bitter twist.
> 
> Or maybe I'm just stretching it.
> 
> I think the simplest thing to say at this point is that I thought this chapter fit as the final chapter, so it _is_ the final chapter. That's all there is to it, I guess.

It happens all at once, completely unexpected.

"Matt speaking." His tone is casual, nonchalant, completely uncaring, as it always seems to be, these days.

Suddenly, he tenses, and Linda can feel his disbelief, anxiety, rolling off him in waves. Even though there is an enormous (metaphorical) wall separating them, Linda still _knows_.

She veers right, slams on the brake, and cuts the engine, forcing the car to a sudden stop.

Matt drops the phone (whether because of the car or because of the call, Linda will never know).

Silence.

"Linda..." Matt finally begins, after what seems like a millenium.

" _What?_ " she snaps, unable to prevent the annoyance from creeping into her voice.

An almost indistinct pause. Then, "That was Mello."

Of course it is. _Of course it is._

After a moment, Matt continues, "He wants help."

Another silence.

"Get out of the goddamn car."

On reflex, "What?"

"Get the fuck _out_ of my car, Matt."

For a moment, he looks as if he is about to speak. The moment passes, and Matt gets out of the car without protest. It is only after he is on the sidewalk, peering back at Linda, does he finally speak again. "Linda..."

"Save it. I don't give a shit." _Not about you, not about Mello, and not even about Near._

Matt doesn't move, his expression unreadable. "This is something I have to do."

Linda laughs, a harsh, grating sound. "Funny. I've never pegged you as suicidal."

" _I won't die._ "

It is said with so much conviction and belief that Linda almost believes him. Almost.

"Yeah, and I'm sure that me, you, Mello, and Near will all have a nice little tea party after you guys defeat Kira and save the world."

Matt smiles. It is a strained smile, but a smile, nonetheless. "Yeah. Sure. Let's all have a tea party together. Afterwards, okay?"

She starts the car again. "You're delusional."

"So, I'll see you later, Linda," Matt says, completely ignoring her scathing comment.

Linda presses on the gas pedal and speeds off, not even bothering to answer.

"Bastard," she mutters to herself.

_Lying bastard._


End file.
